Thursday, 16 July 2015

July 15th Confessions From A Piercing Parlour

The other day I attended a 'Piercing Parlour'.  I obviously wasn't there for a cup of tea or to window shop. I actually had to come back as there was a slight error with the piercing done a month ago, which I had to allow to close and heal before proceeding again. Which is painful, but bearable.

So we walk into the parlour.  Come into the parlour, said the spider to the fly. Well not really, I was very nonchalant but wanted George there this time to watch and make sure they got it right. I really don't want this to become a monthly hobby believe me! So we were waiting in the waiting area, with only a sliding door keeping us and the rest of the people in the shop from the goings on happening behind closed doors. Then we heard a wailing from behind the doors.

At first I thought it was nervous laughter, but this wailing became very vocal. For a good five minutes, us and the other people in the shop had to listen to this banshee. I actually thought at first it was a little girl, and her mother was inflicting a piercing on her. The wailing was terrible. You could then notice a slight apprehension amongst the audience from those who had never been pierced before. Was it really this painful? Was it that bad?  A staff member even discreetly made her way in, to see what was up. Eventually the door opened, and a halfwit posing as a young female emerged. I hate to think how vocal she will be when it comes to childbirth!

That was all fine. Then it was my turn. I knew it would hurt, but pain is fleeting. Can you imagine when I walked into the room, and I noticed the seat appeared 'damp'. Losing all sense of decorum and utilising my foot in mouth skills, without thinking I said 'Please don't tell me she peed herself'? (I have actually sanitised my wording for the purpose of this blog. The Piercer gave me a look, and said "Oh my gosh no!!  We wipe the seat down after every piercing"  Just between you and me, does that mean some people have?

Time for the deed. Needle poised. A fleeting moment of pain and it was over. I was told to wait outside. Can you imagine the poor people waiting after me. I am definitely not a wailer, but for some reason this particular piercing decided to bleed.. And bleed, and bleed, and bleed. The poor staff were giving me copious amounts of swabs. The poor people waiting after me were aghast. First a wailer and now a bleeder. It definitely wasn't a good day for the Piercing Parlour!!

I am pleased to say I am all healed now. Just lots of daily swabs going on, for which I am thankful to have these little blighters. If you want to know where the needle entered my body - well you will just have to see me won't you?  Whilst it is readily apparent to the public eye (so not in a funny, raise your eyebrows, Its and Bits place), it is different and you really will have to see if for yourself and not in a public forum.

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