January 3rd A Day in the Life of a Canine Diva

A Day in the Life of Minnie:

12:30am
The evening was a bit hot so I decided to jump off the bed and seek solace on the cool wooden floor. This was also a hint to my slaves that I would like to check the outside perimeters to be sure there were none of my feline enemies breaking through our parameters. Fortunately the female of my slaves heard me and did not take too long to alight from our bed, make her way to the back door (and for once did not trip or bang into anything and wake he, the male of the slaves, up). A quick check outside and all was as it should be with none of those dastardly creatures around. Time to return to bed

06:00am
He, the male slave alighted for his daily tour of duty. requiring an absence of anything from 8 to 13 hours. She, the female slave kept up her sonorific snoring - I can't believe the neighbours do not hear her. At least I had the good manners to raise my head and farewell the male slave

11:15am
Where has the day gone? In the manner becoming someone of my heritage, I gave a faint whine and she, the female slave came into the bedroom and lifted me off the bed in the manner in which I am accustomed. A bit of a shake of my booty, and I was ready to start my day.

14:30pm
What is going on. I was in a deep sleep, dreaming about ham bones and that macho Westie, Benny, that visits. I wonder if I have upset him as I have not seen him for a while. I didn't want to appear too forward and have been playing it cool. After all he is 6 years my junior, and a toy dog at my age? Who would ever believe it! Anyway I digress. I heard an unfamiliar car engine and it was within our boundary. Who? What? Why?  I barked to let the she slave know. She did a quick look outside and panicked and tried to squeeze a month's housework into 5 seconds. Obviously it did not work. We waited and waited, and no one announced their presence. Then my ears heard the familiar footsteps around the back. It was the male slave, returning from his tour of duty but this time he had arrived home in an unfamiliar vehicle. I have trained him well and after giving the she slave a kiss and a warm welcome, I then received his utmost undivided attention and was rewarded with a treat. A just reward I feel, after putting up with that she slave all day. And how fitting, she gets a kiss and I get a chewy chicken and bacon strip - with no chemical additives - to chew on. I head to my dog cave with the unique glass canopy (the slaves call it a coffee table) and give the treat my undivided attention.

15:30pm
The male slave correctly read my telepathic messages - we do have a special bond after all - and announced it was time for our daily walk. The male slave understands me perfectly. There were plants to pee on and I did need to leave my mark around the neighbourhood. Human celebrities give autographs I believe, I give scent so my fans will know where I have been

17:00pm
As the male slave has had a particularly hard tour of duty this week, he asked the female slave to join us and watch a movie on TV. I am an excellent actress and displayed a total ho hum attitude whilst the slaves totally ignored me and were spellbound by an actor called Richard Gere and some young buck known as Topher Grace. I believe the movie was titled 'The Double'.  The slaves appeared to really enjoy it. As for me, I pretended to be asleep after such an arduous day and waited for my dinner to be served.

19:31pm
It is with much disgust I have to announce that I am still waiting for my dinner. Holy Mother of Jaysus can't you idiots hear my stomach growling. Move you fools!