March 29th I have E.S.B.L.

Yes I have ESBL - not to be confused with ESPN.  You may well ask what the heck is ESBL Not only is it nothing to do with ESPN, it also does not stand for Extra Serious Bulls**t Load!! Also prior to today I had never heard mention of it.

Let's start at the beginning. I had an outpatient hospital appointment - nothing serious, so I was happy to go public and be put on a waiting list - and which as it happened was only a few months, which I actually thought was surprisingly fast given it was public and not urgent.

Fortunately I had a fairly early morning appointment at 9:15am, and rocked up to find a practically empty waiting room

From the outer waiting area I was taken into the inner sanctum by a nurse.  We did our Meet and Greets and then she said to me "don't be put off by the apron I am laying out for the Doctor. This is just a precaution because of your ESBL"

That is when I replied in total shock and amazement..."ESBL!  ESBL - what the heck (in my head I silently thought of another 4 letter word and it wasn't fork) is ESBL?)

Nurse looks at me in amazement. "You know,  ESBL - as mentioned here in your medical records"

Me "I have got no idea what ESBL is or that I even have it:

Nurse "It is  infectious, which is why we have the apron. I will go and get you a brochure that explains it"

Me to myself "What the hell, WTF, and that isn't for Wednesday Thursday Friday believe me"

When the nurse returned with the brochure and by then she could see I truly had no idea what she was talking about. ESBL stands for Extended Spectrum Beta-Lactamase (producing Bacteria).  It is infectious and health professionals need to be aware of it, and if hospitalised, a patient should have a single room.

Fortunately all records are computerised, and the Nurse was willing to go back and investigate when this happened. Lo and behold a Pathologist report from surgery required in November 2013,  detected the presence of ESBL - of which not only myself, but my GP should have been notified of.  And no one has ever thought to pass on this fairly piece of important information!

Just when I thought I was over all the drama associated with surgeries in 2013 - another surprise rears its head to meet me.

Oh well, I wonder if there is an elite ESBL Club in existence (G & Ts at 5 with cucumber sandwiches darlings?) or if this affliction is as common as mud. Who knows??? I do know I am of at no risk of passing it on in general to anyone - so don't panic if you see me. It is only something for the medical profession to be aware of when they are treating me.